How to Survive the Boarding House (pt. 1)

By Megan Daniel

 Most of you peasants think that the boarding house is the most glorious and entertaining place to live. It is, in some aspects, yet not in all. Think about having to live with all of your fellow students, whether you like them or not, and having no choice about it. Although it may appear like a perfectly functioning family like household, it’s really not. 
 
One of the main issues is all of the noise. Whether you have a room mate or not, the walls of the girls boarding house are paper thin, which is dreadfully terrible. 
 
Another huge issue is food. There is an unspoken rule to never let people know you have food. Don’t ever, ever let people know you have food, because suddenly you are the most popular kid in the boarding house. 
 
The list of unspoken rules goes on and on:
Never play the piano if there are other people who will also try to play said piano. 
 
Never promise to buy something for someone else.
 
Never order pizza unless you have at least four people willing to protect said pizza with their lives.
 
Never let someone borrow your head phones because you will never get them back.
 
Ramen is greater than or equal to actual money.
 
Never wear nice clothes around unless you are actually going somewhere nice, otherwise you will be teased and  receive many strange looks.
 
Never let an inter- boarding house relationship blossom, unless you know it will last.
 
If you ever wake your roommate up either early in the morning or late at night, prepare for war.
 
If you ever start to cook something make enough for at least one extra person to be prepared for “vultures,” (AKA,  fellow hungry students).
 
Never, ever, ever share clothes, if you make the grave mistake of doing so, everybody will get the ungodly idea that you are  some sort of rental boutique, but half of them end up keeping your clothes.
 
If you plan on bringing someone to the boarding house, do not take them into anyone else’s room without prior notice.
 
Find a group and stick with them.
 
Learn how to play soccer or else you will be very bored.
 
Whomever has a Netflix, Hulu, Hulu +, is regarded with the highest respect.
 
Never go on a Walmart trip alone.
 
Never tell someone whom is not your best of friend, that you are going home, for they will ask you for something  (food, money, clothes, etc.).
 
If you want privacy you must earn it, in ways like (but not limited to) buying your roommate something to entertain  themselves, giving your roommate food, respecting your roommate’s privacy if they ever need it.
 
Never talk on the phone unless you are alone. It is very annoying, because if you haven’t noticed people tend to  essentially yell when have a conversation on the phone.
 
Never trust anyone with a secret unless they have proven themselves worthy.
 
Always clean up after yourself, for if you don’t, we will find you.
 
Never cook any sort of fish.
 
Toilets are a sacred place. Treat them as such.
 
Always help others with homework, because they will now owe you a debt.
 
Shower everyday.
 
If you smell, be prepared to be made fun of.
 
If you ever do something funny, there will be a vine of it.
 
Follow fellow boarders on instgram, because there are most likely pictures of you on there.
 
Always wear headphones when watching or listening to something.
 
And, last but not least, don’t touch each other, ever; it’s weird and should be avoided at all costs.
 
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